now i know. i think i'm sure with my feelings now. but i'm scared. scared of rejection and scared of what he's going to react if he already knew my feelings for him.
I really hate being rejected. of course we all do. i couldn't imagine myself being rejected by the person i love. yea you're right. love. before i always say that love is just a hoax but now i'm in the state where everybody feels like they're in heaven. but why is it so different for me? i don't feel euphoric. yes i'm really damn in love with this guy, but the worst part of it is he doesn't love me back. what a dreadful feeling i'm into now. i really don't know what i should do anymore. i don't want to break the friendship that we have but will i just stay pacified until my feelings for him disappear? it's really confusing me. i just wanted to be happy. why can't i be happy? why do i need him? just because i love him? or is it because i've learned to live my life with him around? but how will it be when i turn into college? i'll not be able to see him often. whoa..this is such a mess. damn it. i feel like a fool. how will i escape this maze?
well i'll just wish myself good luck. i hope he'll understand my situation. please..rejection is what i do fear.
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